whatsthehurry | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ it's late, and kaeya is drunk.

not drunk enough to stumble and slur, nor to not know where he is, or whom he is with, but drunk enough to make reckless choices. drunk enough to touch what he shouldn't, and say forbidden things. drunk enough to eye diluc with undisguised hunger, across the bar. what they have between them.. it's nothing new. kaeya's felt this way for a long, long time - since they were boys, if he's honest with himself, and tonight, he is. it isn't the first time he's been tipsy in the angel's share and sent diluc heated looks, and he's sure it won't be the last, but kaeya nevertheless doesn't intend to grab diluc's wrist when he reaches for kaeya's glass. he's never been quite so bold before.

but it's raining tonight, and the rain makes him melancholy and nostalgic. rain reminds him of the things he's lost. it was storming, the night his father left him at the winery, when first he met master crepus, and diluc. it was storming again, the day he lost them both. thunder rolls in the distance, and wind rattles the windows in their frames; the storm is likely the only reason that diluc hasn't made good on his threats to kick kaeya out, despite the fact that the angel's share closed over an hour ago. kaeya is repaying that kindness, it seems, with assertiveness, his hand closing more tightly around diluc's wrist. even through his glove, he can feel the heat of diluc's skin.. he's always run so warm. ]

Luc -

[ the nickname comes too easily; kaeya's tongue is too loose. he clears his throat and grins genially, though his thumb is gliding beneath the hem of diluc's glove, sliding against bare skin. ]

That is, Master Diluc.. just one more, please. If you would be so kind.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ no, gentleness is not what they need, and kaeya is sure that he wouldn't accept it, were that what diluc was offering. he'd rather chase this hunger and heat, and allow himself to be fucked raw and begging, because that is what they require, after all these years spent yearning. kaeya doesn't know how he will feel about this in a day's time, in an hour's time, and it isn't like him to be so rash and thoughtless, but with diluc..

well, diluc has a way of bringing it out in him. diluc has a way of bringing all sorts of things out in him. ]

I know.

[ he hisses through his teeth, one arm winding around diluc's back, fingernails sinking into hot skin beneath his loose shirt and vest, the other lifting so he can seize diluc by that fiery red mane, yanking him in again for a kiss. he wants to drown in diluc, to kiss and feel and fuck until there's nothing left but him, but this tiny space in their corner of the world..

the shelves creak and groan, their gasps and moans swallowing up everything but the sound of their coupling, wet and obscene, rustling fabric and the whisper of skin on skin - with his eye closed, kaeya hears it all. the heat builds, and builds quickly, even neglecting his cock it isn't long before kaeya is close, driven nearer to the precipice with every hard plunge of diluc's cock into his ass, every press and rub to that sweet spot that has him reeling. kaeya's fingers in diluc's hair tighten, his teeth sinking into his lower lip, swollen and tender from the force of their kisses. ]

Come for me, Luc.

[ A very small part of him would like to resist that command, simply for the purpose of resisting it when Kaeya is the one who gave it. Unfortunately - or fortunately - for Diluc, he simply doesn't have the wherewithal to pull that off tonight, not when this has been such a long time coming, not when he has wanted Kaeya for so long, not when this is, gods, his first time. Maybe another time he can wrest control - but does that mean he is thinking of a next time? Why is he thinking at all?

It's so easy to let the thoughts fall away, to allow Kaeya to soak up his entire essence, his hands, his voice, his body, the way he feels from the inside. He would do anything that Kaeya asked in that moment, entirely at his mercy, even if Kaeya is the one riding his cock. It's just...so...

With a harsh cry rent from deep inside, Diluc comes, hard, fast and hot, spilling inside of Kaeya with ungentle fervor. His nails pierce into the skin at Kaeya's hips, scraping through, and he squeezes his eyes shut as the wave of pure, untethered sensation rushes over him and envelops him completely. It's perfect. So perfect. So much more than he had ever dreamed of, and even as the moments count on, he is gasping loud, needful moans, pressing his hips further against Kaeya until every last drop of him is spent.

Even then, he remains as he is, tense yet blissfully perfect, holding in place so Kaeya can finish, too. ]

Now you, Kae.

[ He wants to feel him come all over his chest and abdomen, that wet heat the perfect climax to everything that has happened here tonight. ]

[ feeling diluc coming inside of him, watching him unravel..

gods, it's too beautiful for words. the play of pleasure across diluc's pretty face is exquisite, and the way his body reacts, tensing so tightly as he finds his peak.. kaeya's lost in it, lost in him, in how perfectly diluc comes apart for him. for him. this isn't some wet dream to wake from in the middle of the night, this is real, and raw, and the sheer magnitude of it is dropping onto kaeya's head like a sack of bricks, all at once.

kaeya feels dizzy, disoriented, and perfectly pleasured as diluc's hips stutter into his own, spilling wet heat into his body. it's filthy. it's irresistible.

diluc hardly needs to tell him twice - by the time that command comes kaeya is already halfway there, fit to burst from the feel of diluc alone, from the filthy trickle of come down the inside of his thigh. kaeya looses a hand and pulls it between them, his knuckles sore from how tightly he'd been grasping to diluc, and all it takes is a few quick jerks to his cock before he, too, is crumbling. kaeya's head tips back against the shelves as he groans, diluc's name on his lips. ]

Fuck --

[ wet heat spills over his fingers, spurting against diluc's bare abdomen as kaeya comes, hard and brutal and loud, his hand in diluc's hair grasping tightly, tightly enough to hurt. but kaeya is lost in white-hot pleasure, meeting his peak with shameless eagerness before he's slumping back against the shelves. ]

[ It is beautiful, isn't it?

Diluc finds himself enraptured as the same pleasure ebbing through him lights up Kaeya's body, consuming him from the inside out, his hips twitching, jerking, breath uneven, and Diluc's name is in there, too, just before he comes. Kaeya spills right against his stomach, hot, sticky come dribbling across his navel, and it feels so goddamn good that he can almost ignore how hard Kaeya is pulling on his hair, or how loud his cry is. Good thing there aren't sharing walls with any other establishment - there's no doubt they would be heard.

At last, they are both spent, and as Kaeya sinks back against the shelves, so does Diluc allow himself to sink down to the floor, bending at the knees, awash in a kind of pleasure and satisfaction that he has never known. There is...something more, something just at the horizon of his mind that he doesn't want to address yet, but for now, it's easy enough to focus on how good he feels, how deeply, utterly satisfied. He's certain he has never felt so good in his life.

With Kaeya's legs still straddled around him, Diluc leans forward to press his open mouth to Kaeya's once more. His kiss is still hot, but he is now breathless and far more patient, almost lazy in the way he tastes Kaeya's lips and teeth and tongue. This, it seems, is a much better way to come down, to keep them both...preoccupied, before they exchange any words.

What even is there to say? ]

[ together they sink to the floor, a tangle of long limbs, surrounded by the few discarded bits of clothing they had managed to tear off, though they are largely still dressed, which kaeya can only find incredibly hot. he's sore from having held such a tense position, from having been pressed back to hard shelves, from having been fucked raw and brutally, but kaeya knows he will revel in every sting and ache for all that it meant, all that it means.

gods, what does it mean?

thankfully diluc takes the initiative to kiss him, to further delay what they need to address, which is all that kaeya could ask for in this moment. with a low, rough groan he's pressing back into that kiss, his eye closed and his lips parted, and this kiss, he thinks, is the best one yet. it's still full of heat and urgency, but less so, more explorative, more.. genuine. it makes his heart beat fast and his stomach tense up with warm butterflies. he kind of hates that.

he kind of loves it.

raising his hands, kaeya grasps at diluc's jaw to keep him there, and they kiss for what feels like hours, they kiss until their lips are swollen and sore, until they've learned one another's mouths thoroughly and completely, until they're breathless. even when the kiss breaks, kaeya is nudging his mouth to diluc's, still eager to feel him, to taste him. ]

That was.. a long time coming, I think.

[ What does it mean...what a terrifying question to approach. Maybe Diluc can just kiss him forever, kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until there is nothing else left, but of course, things aren't so simple, and eventually they must break apart and reconcile with everything that unfolded here tonight. It had been easier to keep his swarming thoughts at bay while they kissed, his mind instead filled with the taste of Kaeya's mouth, the feel of his hands, the tangled mess they're still in - but now, they press closer, asking Diluc that very same question.

At least of one thing he is absolutely certain - he doesn't regret it. He can't regret it. What happened here tonight wasn't an indulgence; it was a necessity.

Diluc sucks in a deep breath of air, hands snagging in the front of Kaeya's loose cotton shirt (that I am pretty sure he was still wearing?!), bearing the weight of his contemplation. ]

...Yes. It was.

[ Another kiss. Another chance to taste what he denied himself for so long. ]

I...shouldn't have let it take this long. I knew long ago that it would not fade.

[ yeah i'm pretty sure all he managed to remove was his jacket and.. halfway his pants. or something.

despite the fact that kaeya was the one to speak first, he finds that he immediately regrets it, and wishes they could just go back to uncomplicated kissing and fucking and not have to worry about anything at all. in fact, kaeya's eye is already flicking to the left and the right, searching for an escape route.

at least until diluc is leaning forward to kiss him again, and kaeya's breath leaves him in a shuddering rush. gods, it feels so good to kiss him.. it feels so right, more right than anything has ever felt in his life. from a young age, his life has always been unstable, the puzzle pieces of his existence scattered, a mess, but he and diluc fit together, they always have, from the first night kaeya spent under the roof of the manor. he'd been terrified, alone, frozen solid from the downpour, but diluc had watched him with wide, scarlet eyes, eager to help. and when kaeya came down with a cold the next day, diluc rushed to his side, ready to share his toys, to bring kaeya water, to stay with him until he felt better.

the memory is like a knife to the heart. ]

Well. We can share the blame.

[ clearing his throat, kaeya snags the waistband of his trousers and begins hiking them back up, right over the mess in his pants, because really, what else is he going to do? it's not the first time he's walked home with come in his pants, and it isn't likely to be the last. ]

[ Right, they should - put themselves back together - and they did it right here behind the bar - what was he thinking?

But he wasn't thinking, that's the whole point. And now that he is thinking again, he realizes he is entirely out of his depth here. Even Kaeya seems to be, and this was hardly his first time. Does Kaeya realize just how...fresh this all was to Diluc? That he lost his virginity here with him tonight? Heat flushes his face, burning and unwelcome, as he looks away, tucking his cock back inside his trousers and doing them back up, before lifting his fingers to the buttons of his shirt.

His fingers are unsteady. He's blaming that on the strength it took to pin a fully grown man against the shelf.

To fuck him.

He exhales sharply. ]

I...yes. We should.

[ Maybe it's better to simply leave it at that. ]

[ he's not wrong, really - diluc may have been doing his best to push kaeya away all these years, but kaeya hasn't exactly made it easy for them to heal, either, with his smartass attitude and inability to be honest and straightforward. the two of them together built this tangled, complicated relationship that they now have.

that even now, after a hard, brutal, necessary fuck, they both are still trying their hardest to ignore. kaeya started this thing, by pressing his luck with diluc, he's obligated to fix it.. yet instead he's buttoning up his trousers and buckling his belts back up as if all they exchanged was an easy conversation. kaeya's silver tongue rarely fails him, but now? gods, he hardly knows what to say. what to do. his eye flicks briefly to diluc's face, taking in the hot flush on his skin, the uncertain expression.

should he regret this?

.. no. no, he doesn't regret it. it feels like they've lanced a painful boil, like they've moved forward, somehow, despite the fact that they've overcomplicated things even further. it was good. it was incredible. unforgettable. kaeya doesn't regret a single second of it, no matter how awkward things feel in this moment. ]

I should.. ah..

[ his gaze flickers to the door. ]

[ Diluc's hands stop where they are, about halfway through rebuttoning his shirt, as he follows the motion of Kaeya's eyes towards the door.

Ah.

So, that's how it's going to be, then.

It hurts, more than he would ever care to admit, a hot flash of embarrassment sinking like a dagger into his gut. Diluc has never been intimate with anyone before, he's never even been close to it - how could he? With how busy his various tasks and missions keep him, and how long his heart has belonged to Kaeya and Kaeya only. This was hardly intimacy, yes, but it was absolutely vulnerability, a side of Diluc that no one has ever seen before, and Kaeya is just going to leave. Going to run, like he always does.

It's a slap to the face. It stings. It hurts. But rather than allow himself to be hurt, to show even one more sliver of vulnerability to the other man, Diluc instead gets angry, the walls around his heart climbing upward once more. It's easier this way. Better this way. It always has been.

What a fool he'd been to think this would change anything. ]

Am I keeping you from something, Captain? How dare you. Tch - I should have known better.

[ Climbing to his feet, he turns away, hands clenched at his sides. He can still taste Kaeya in his mouth, feel his hands on his body. Godsdamn him. ]

Go on then. Leave. You got what you came for.

Edited 2022-10-11 06:15 (UTC)

[ ah. he's fucked up. ]

No, Luc, I -

[ shit. for all diluc keeps his cards close to his chest, kaeya knows him, and he can see the hurt that flashes across his features before he's closing down, raising his walls up high again, and kaeya knows he has misstepped - and badly. he'd thought diluc wouldn't want him to stick around, he'd thought diluc would want to escape this awkward situation as much as kaeya wants to.

he'd been a fool, clearly. hurting diluc.. it's just about the last thing that kaeya wants to do. for all he picks at him, for all he likes to press diluc's buttons, kaeya doesn't want to wound him, not really, not like this. he's scrambling to his feet almost instantly, reaching to snag one of diluc's wrists, pulling, trying to turn him around.

It's not like that. I just thought -

[ kaeya curses under his breath. ]

I'm sorry.

[ He resists, at first. Don't call me that, he nearly spits, but he bites back the words, though even he isn't sure the reason why. That nickname belongs to Kaeya only, the only one who has ever called him that, and hearing him call him that tonight was...deeply affecting, to say the least. Maybe it's just that he doesn't want to give Kaeya any more emotional outbursts from him, to demonstrate how far under his skin he's gotten.

His fist remains tightly wound, jaw clenched, as Kaeya tries to turn him around. He doesn't - not fully, anyway. Diluc doesn't want to face him right now. Maybe not ever again. How can he look him in the eye, knowing how close they came tonight, and how soon afterwards Kaeya was to return to his usual tricks?

He could really punch him in the teeth right now. ]

For what.

[ For what? ]

[ kaeya knows this diluc. it's the same diluc that drew his claymore against him that terrible, rainy night, the same diluc that unleashed the fire that scarred his face. he's always had a quick temper, however much he might mask it behind his gentle, genial demeanor.

and as always, kaeya deserves to be on the receiving end of his burning hot ire. ]

I just thought -

[ kaeya's grasp on diluc's wrist tightens up, and he gives another tug - but if diluc won't turn to him, then kaeya will close the distance instead, side-stepping to get in front of diluc again. ]

I thought you wouldn't want me hanging around, all right?

[ but he was wrong, clearly, and he should likely have known better. diluc isn't like him, he doesn't do casual sex or meaningless flings. this meant something to him. it meant something to kaeya, too, but it had been all too easy for him to lose his cool and chase the desire to run away, to escape whatever awkward pain the aftermath would bring. it was a selfish desire, but kaeya has always been a selfish man, placing his own self-preservation before most everything else.

still, it isn't worth hurting diluc. guilt weighs heavy on his heart, just as it had back then; gods, why is he always fucking things up? ]

[ That Kaeya doesn't relent when Diluc refuses to turn around is a surprise - even more so when he steps in front of him. He's tempted to turn again, despite this, to hide his own embarrassment, his own fear, but he refuses to be so cowardly. He refuses to let Kaeya get to him, more than he already has, though by now, there is little point. How could Kaeya be anywhere but within the very core of Diluc's heart?

That's why it hurts so much that he wanted to leave. He claims that he did it for Diluc's sake, but is that really true? Gods, why does it hurt that he even has to ask that question to himself? He may have once thought he knew Kaeya better than he even knew himself, that he knew how his mind worked implicitly, but that had never been true, had it? So it's not true now either. He has to question these things.

He has to question what it all meant. ]

Don't make me your scapegoat. You wanted to run away so you wouldn't have to deal with whatever I might do next. Isn't that right?

[ Yes, you thought wrong, Kaeya, and Diluc is making sure you know it. ]

Yeah, that's true, too.

[ but both of these things can be true.

kaeya doesn't give up, though. it's not like him not to run away from a mess - clearly - but now that this has devolved so painfully he knows he can't leave. he can't let this go. even if it earns another scar, kaeya.. has to choose honesty, this time. though the temptation is certainly there to give up, to just.. leave, and let this thing fester, he's already lost so much, with diluc. he can't lose anymore. he couldn't take it.

so kaeya snags his other wrist too, holding tightly. ]

Luc, come on.

[ what does he need to say? what can he say? cold fear is creeping up his spine, a quiet panic building in his gut that he can't chase away. it feels like diluc is slipping further and further away, and kaeya can only cling to what's left. ]

Maybe I thought that for a minute, yeah. Maybe I wanted to run. But I'm here now, and I can't - we can't -

[ honesty doesn't come easily to him. honesty is what ruined everything. his expression tenses, his grasp tightening, and he's moving closer, quietly, achingly desperate. ]

.. please.

[ He still isn't running away.

Diluc realizes he's been waiting for it - that despite the fact that Kaeya thought twice about trying to make for the door a moment ago, he still will do it, because he doesn't want to face Diluc. He will refuse to face him, like he has ever since that night, when the ugly truth came out and their blades crossed. Diluc's gaze flickers up to the eyepatch Kaeya wears, and the scar he knows lingers beneath, before dropping away once more.

Maybe this night is not so different. Kaeya had seized an opportunity with Diluc while he was vulnerable, and Diluc doesn't know just how the ground beneath him has crumbled away, only that is has. Kaeya had hurt him, unintentionally or not, and it had earned his righteous fury. That night, he had wanted to hurt Kaeya in return for hurting him. He wanted to lash out in a rage, built from the seething anguish inside him. Tonight, resisting when Kaeya reaches out now seems almost lethal.

Please.

He swallows against a lump in his throat. He hates that it's there. ]

...What do you want me to say?

[ He's never had the silver tongue that Kaeya has. It's why expressing himself had seemed so much easier a few moments ago, with raw physicality, instead of words. Now that he must try to speak to what is in his heart, what he wants, the tangled mess inside him seems...insurmountable. ]

[ well. it's a step in the right direction. at least diluc doesn't look like he's about to set kaeya on fire.

again. ]

I don't..

[ he starts, but for all diluc thinks of his silver tongue, it's failing kaeya, now. his sharp wit and quick words are usually tied up with his lies, but uncomfortable honesty like this.. it doesn't come to him easily. he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't know what to do. he can't tell diluc the full, bare truth.

he can't still him how much he loves him. how he's always loved him, in every way that someone can love a person. the fear of outright rejection is far too strong, and kaeya protects himself instead in icy layers, keeping his tender, sentimental heart protected, not unlike diluc himself does. they have so much more in common than either of them would want to believe. kaeya exhales hard.

and then he's tugging on diluc's wrists, yanking him closer, tilting his head to crush their mouths together again. maybe it's too much, maybe diluc will haul off and punch him in the teeth, but words are failing him, and kaeya prefers instead to speak with his body. things were easier, simpler when they were kissing, and he hopes against hope that somehow, perhaps, what he's feeling will come through this way instead. ]

[ Maybe a moment ago, when he was still seething Diluc might have thought to pull away when Kaeya pulls him in to kiss him again. Maybe he might worry this was just another attempt at distraction, a way to delay the inevitable. But in this particular moment, it is exactly what he needs. It's what he needs to hear, what he needs to feel, and how he needs to respond.

Kaeya's lips crash to his with such a tide of remorse that it takes Diluc by surprise. There are feelings in the way he moves his lips against his own, with warm need and fervent needfulness, but it's not the same as the burgeoning lust that had come before. It's as if Kaeya's whole heart is spilling out through his mouth and into Diluc's, and Diluc returns in kind, a gentle, mournful sound in his throat as he leans against Kaeya and snags the front of his shirt once more.

His heart is heavy, pouring catharsis into every brush of his lips, every dip of his tongue. His feelings must be exhumed, and after burning off his physical desire earlier, everything that's left to be consumed are the raw contents of his heart, all of his pure, painful love that he holds and always will hold for Kaeya.

Does he realize, now, with the way Diluc kisses him, how desperately, achingly in love with him he is?

Gods, he hopes Kaeya doesn't open his eyes, and see the glisten of tears just at the corners of his own closed eyes.

[ thankfully for diluc's dignity, kaeya does not open his eye - at least not yet. it's poor form to stare during a kiss, after all.

not that kaeya is thinking about that. he's thinking only about what he's feeling, how good it is to kiss diluc, to taste him, to feel that itching something in the way their lips move together. the thing he understands and reciprocates yet it too afraid to say aloud, the words sticking in his throat, even the mere idea of muttering them is enough to make his heart race with anxiety.

but he doesn't have to say them, not when he can speak instead with his kiss, with the press of his body to diluc's. his hands release diluc's wrists and lift instead to his jaw, cradling his face as if it were something precious, something delicate, that needs protecting, his thumbs smoothing over the sharp rise of diluc's fine cheekbones. ]

You're beautiful.

[ he whispers between their mouths, his tongue lapping at diluc's, the intimacy between them growing, swelling, gripping his heart like a scorching hot fist. ]

I'm sorry.

[ for tonight, yes. but also for so much more. for betrayal, for secrets, for the simple crime of his existence. ]

[ The intimacy is alarming and new, it should feel out of place, and yet...it doesn't. It feels like they have been doing this for years, for as long as Diluc's heart could recognize what he felt for Kaeya as love. It's out in the open now, and maybe he doesn't know what is going to happen tomorrow, maybe he doesn't know what the right thing to do is, or where they go from here - but for fucking once he is doing this just for himself, and himself only.

Telling Kaeya these things with his body, his hands, and his mouth rather than his words is...so much easier. So much simpler. ]

I'm sorry, too.

[ For pushing him away. For needing to push him away. For everything that was inevitable, and everything that wasn't.

Breaking off from the kiss, Diluc instead leans his brow against Kaeya's, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath. ]

Come home with me tonight.

[ It's his home too, after all. ]

[ those words are like a punch to the gut - painful, and yet relieving, the words he's longed to hear for years and years. he knows diluc's meaning, what he's inviting, and kaeya's heart soon leaps up into the back of his throat. his breath rushes, and he swallows thickly, but there can be only one answer. ]

Yeah.

[ kaeya presses his forehead back to diluc's, nudging at him with his nose.

going home with him. sleeping together, really sleeping together, tangled up in one another. it's so repulsively sweet, and it's all that kaeya wants. his hands smooth over diluc's back, and kaeya kisses him again, one more time, slow and lingering and warm, before it's breaking with a soft sound. ]

Let's go.

[ It was the right decision.

He wasn't certain, at first, and questioned his judgment more than once as they made their way back to the Dawn Winery. He's taking Kaeya home with him. The implications of that are not lost on either of them, and there are...several implications. Still, he feels amorous and warm, too much so to give into his second-guessing. The overwhelming scent of Kaeya's skin and taste of him still in his mouth no doubt have much to do with that, and the carriage ride home is spent in relative quiet, their bodies pressed close together, sharing warmth and touch. After denying himself this for so long, Diluc feels rather like a parched man, drinking up every ounce of affection he can, thirsty for it all.

After all, he isn't sure what tomorrow will bring, if some time to reflect on what they've finally done will change how he feels about it, about him. Better to seize this moment while they can, before common sense nudges its way back into his synapses.

Once they reach the estate and steal their way inside under the cover of night, they waste no time getting back to what they left off with at the Angel's Share, kissing, touching, pulling off one another's already-messy clothing until they are both beautifully, wonderfully bare. This time, it's slower, more deliberate, in the way they map one another with their hands and mouths, touch and kiss in places they have always daydreamed about. They share one another wholly, perfectly, Kaeya pressing Diluc face-first into the sheets and bearing down on him until Diluc is absolutely senseless and growling with pleasure. He's never felt such ecstasy in his life as he does when Kaeya fucks him, needful and unrelenting and sweet all at once.

It's not until the sun begins to rise that they at last reach the point of exhaustion, the sheets around them damp from sweat and come, their bodies perfectly tangled, hair sticking to tacky skin. Diluc falls asleep with his face pressed against Kaeya's throat, surrounding him fully with the scent of his skin and hair, breathing in his pulse. It's a heavy, dreamless sleep, deeply satisfied and boneless from their exertions, and one he does not intend to rise from until late, late the next morning.

Or perhaps never at all. He could stay like this forever, never moving from this moment, from this spot. That would be easier, wouldn't it? ]

[ to call their time together intimate would not be a strong enough descriptor.

it's fantastic. it's incredible. it's.. groundbreaking, at least for kaeya, who has never really bothered to be anything but a good, transient fuck for another person. but for diluc he wants to be more, he never wants it to end, and though he doesn't have courage to call it what it is, they're not just fucking, they're making love, hot and desperate and much-needed love that scratches an itch he's never been able to reach. diluc's hands are a balm, his mouth a sweet salve over old, raw wounds that never properly healed. their coming together feels fated. natural. necessary.

it's nearly dawn by the time they finally sleep, filthy and exhausted and wrapped up in one another, their limbs tangled, the sheets damp, the blankets an unholy mess. kaeya sleeps deeply, restfully, lost in the warm scent of diluc's skin and hair, comforted by the walls around him. the winery has always felt like home.. and tonight, for the first time in years, he feels that old contentedness again. it wraps him like a warm blanket, and kaeya sleeps better than he has in a long, long time.

it's after noon by the time he stirs, their bodies still intertwined, and it takes a moment for kaeya to rouse enough to remember why he is here, and with whom, though the face full of scarlet hair tickling his nose is an easy reminder.

for a brief moment, cold fear clutches his gut. what have they done? why did they do it? was this the right choice? should he run again?

kaeya bites it back. it's old insecurity talking, and in this warm, perfect moment.. how could he feel anything but good? shifting onto his side, one hand skates down diluc's back, and kaeya nudges their noses together, grinning like a lazy cat as the afternoon sunlight streams against his skin. ]

.. morning, beautiful.

[ For Diluc, a similar wave of conflicting emotions hits him as he stirs from sleep, misgivings and fear butting up against warmth and comfort. If he had been told the day before that he would wake up in bed the next morning tangled up with Kaeya's naked form after a night of passionate sex, he would have actually laughed for how incredulous it is, and yet here he is.

And Kaeya is still here with him. He didn't slip away in the night, to dress himself and put the armor around his heart back on. He is still here, vulnerable and warm and wonderful, and all at once a lump of emotion sits thick in the back of Diluc's throat. At last, it's like a vital, missing piece of his life has slotted back into place.

Will it stay that way? For now, he is trying not to think about it.

Eyes still closed, his lips curl into a gentle smile against Kaeya's cheek, a hand lifting to glide beneath his jaw. ]

Oh, stop with the flattery. You already got me into bed.

[ Baka!!! ]

[ kaeya laughs, at that, warm and easy. ]

Well, I suppose I did.. but I didn't need flattery, for that.

[ he just needed his hands and his mouth and his body against diluc's to spark all that came after, and later.. his honesty. some of it, at least. they still haven't entirely admitted their hearts to one another, and kaeya still feels that deep pit of worry in his gut that it's going to need to come to that sooner than he wants, but..

.. it's worth it, isn't it? to bridge this terrible gap between them. to have diluc warm and naked against him, looking gorgeous and tousled in the morning light, his red hair wild from all the astounding sex they've had. it feels like a dream. kaeya hums, turning his head enough to capture diluc's with his own, reminding himself that this is real. he tastes just as good as he did the night before, just as perfect and sweet and familiar, and kaeya pulls in a sharp breath through his nose, murmuring against diluc's mouth. ]

But I can flatter you all I like.