[ diluc's hand rises to his face, and kaeya's heartbeat quickens, his exhale rushing in a soft shudder. it's such a small thing, the brush of diluc's gloved fingers, but to kaeya, who is starved for his affections, it feels like slaking his thirst after traversing a desert. he can smell the leather of diluc's gloves. heat is gathering under kaeya's skin, and tingling anticipation -
and then diluc says those words. i can't.
kaeya is a pushy man, but a no is a no; it doesn't matter that diluc's body is responding, that his voice sounds beautifully breathless, it doesn't even matter that diluc is touching his jawline like a lover. he keeps pressing kaeya back, and he must take no for an answer. kaeya grunts his displeasure. ]
.. right.
[ he should stop. kaeya is sure that diluc wants this, that he's wanted it as long as kaeya has, but.. so much has changed between them, and there can be no ignoring the yawning chasm between them, black and empty and painfully wide. kaeya pushes forward, and diluc pushes away. they've come to this impasse many times, more times than kaeya wants to admit, and it always ends the same - with diluc arching against him, wanting and longing, and saying no.
kaeya was a fool to think this time would be any different from all the rest. maybe diluc is right. no, of course diluc is right. he always is. this is a fool's errand. nothing will bring back those warm, idyllic days, nothing will make things as they were, no matter how either of them try. kaeya closes his eye, pressing his face to the nape of diluc's neck, breathing in the irresistible scent of his hair and skin.. before he draws away, and snags the dishrag again. ]
no subject
and then diluc says those words. i can't.
kaeya is a pushy man, but a no is a no; it doesn't matter that diluc's body is responding, that his voice sounds beautifully breathless, it doesn't even matter that diluc is touching his jawline like a lover. he keeps pressing kaeya back, and he must take no for an answer. kaeya grunts his displeasure. ]
.. right.
[ he should stop. kaeya is sure that diluc wants this, that he's wanted it as long as kaeya has, but.. so much has changed between them, and there can be no ignoring the yawning chasm between them, black and empty and painfully wide. kaeya pushes forward, and diluc pushes away. they've come to this impasse many times, more times than kaeya wants to admit, and it always ends the same - with diluc arching against him, wanting and longing, and saying no.
kaeya was a fool to think this time would be any different from all the rest. maybe diluc is right. no, of course diluc is right. he always is. this is a fool's errand. nothing will bring back those warm, idyllic days, nothing will make things as they were, no matter how either of them try. kaeya closes his eye, pressing his face to the nape of diluc's neck, breathing in the irresistible scent of his hair and skin.. before he draws away, and snags the dishrag again. ]
I'll finish up those dishes.