[ If Kaeya is trying to win his attention, he certainly has it now, fully and undivided.
How can he think about anything else, when Kaeya pins him to the bar like that, muscles and limbs pressed flush against him, and the hint of a bulge between Keaya's legs that makes Diluc's heart pound so hard he's sure Kaeya must be able to hear it. Unbidden, a shudder rolls down his spine as Kaeya mouths at his skin, and he must reach forward to grip the countertop with one white-knuckled hand, to keep himself from either turning to slap him, or shoving his tongue so far down his throat that he can taste that soft purr in Kaeya's voice --
Heat flushes over him, a mix of doubt and embarrassment and fear, but also real, visceral desire. Even when he had first returned to Mondstadt, and he and Kaeya had reformed an oh-so-tentative connection, it had lingered. The attraction that had burned through him in their youth, the fondness that captivated him anytime Kaeya spoke. Would that Diluc would scrub it away, blot it out so that it might disappear forever, but when love is written so indelibly upon the soul, what hope is there to excise it?
Is that even what he wants? It might be what is easier, but is it what he wants?
He so rarely considers what he wants these days. Would it really so bad if...but yes, of course it would, that's why he's never pursued this, when Kaeya has made his interest and intentions clear. Once they take that step, there is no going back, and things are already complicated enough. Acknowledging the shape of his heart wouldn't make that any better.
He only realizes then that his free hand has lifted to Kaeya's cheek, thumb gliding along his striking jawbone, the warmth of his skin just piercing through Diluc's gloves. He hasn't pushed Kaeya away, and now he is keeping him here, encouraging him, his stomach twisting into knots of anxious excitement. ]
That - doesn't matter. We...I can't...
[ What will become of them, if Diluc's resolve wavers now, if he lets Kaeya into that space that he's ached for him to occupy for so very long? ]
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How can he think about anything else, when Kaeya pins him to the bar like that, muscles and limbs pressed flush against him, and the hint of a bulge between Keaya's legs that makes Diluc's heart pound so hard he's sure Kaeya must be able to hear it. Unbidden, a shudder rolls down his spine as Kaeya mouths at his skin, and he must reach forward to grip the countertop with one white-knuckled hand, to keep himself from either turning to slap him, or shoving his tongue so far down his throat that he can taste that soft purr in Kaeya's voice --
Heat flushes over him, a mix of doubt and embarrassment and fear, but also real, visceral desire. Even when he had first returned to Mondstadt, and he and Kaeya had reformed an oh-so-tentative connection, it had lingered. The attraction that had burned through him in their youth, the fondness that captivated him anytime Kaeya spoke. Would that Diluc would scrub it away, blot it out so that it might disappear forever, but when love is written so indelibly upon the soul, what hope is there to excise it?
Is that even what he wants? It might be what is easier, but is it what he wants?
He so rarely considers what he wants these days. Would it really so bad if...but yes, of course it would, that's why he's never pursued this, when Kaeya has made his interest and intentions clear. Once they take that step, there is no going back, and things are already complicated enough. Acknowledging the shape of his heart wouldn't make that any better.
He only realizes then that his free hand has lifted to Kaeya's cheek, thumb gliding along his striking jawbone, the warmth of his skin just piercing through Diluc's gloves. He hasn't pushed Kaeya away, and now he is keeping him here, encouraging him, his stomach twisting into knots of anxious excitement. ]
That - doesn't matter. We...I can't...
[ What will become of them, if Diluc's resolve wavers now, if he lets Kaeya into that space that he's ached for him to occupy for so very long? ]